A hassankhan and a sherifelgazma walk into a bar

A hassankhanem and a sherifelgazma* walk into a bar, ig's bar, where the Hells angels were hanging out.
The hassankhan shouts/yells, "read Fanon, you fucking bastards."**
After the Hells angels beat the living crap out of them, they arrange them into a sixty-nine position
and skewer them both with a billiards cue so that the cue goes up one's ass and comes out the ass of the other.
Then they tie them up to the ceiling fan.
At which point the hells angels sergeant says, "Fan on for these fuckin' bastards."

___________________
* A hassankhan(em) (Platygonus nefast) is a type of peccary that spreads false rumours about me. Its existence is considered a missing link and a living fossil for evolutionary social immerit theory. It is often found accompanied by its sidekick lackey and talentless blunder, sherifelgazma (Pediculus pubis), a species of louse, in a classic example of a commensal symbiosis relationship.

** for the record, i do not agree w/ Fanon's conclusions.

###

... Read more

Another four-day insomnia

I finally slept.
Without looking, I know not for how long, nor do i remember what i was working on before this bout of insomnia, nor what i want to do.
It is terrible living like this, sleeping on only one day out of every four or five days.
I would kill myself, but it seems a pity, not to mention it would be wrong, incorrect.


... Read more

noise journal so far today, 21.ix.xv

after four days of insomnia last week, followed by two days of sleep and illness
, then a quiet night of insomnia/little sleep again,

today the noise journal so far, - these take place just meters from my desk and my bed! through a rickety window.

0012 beep honk.
0019 again car door slam after i cough.
0053 car door slam.
0105 honks.
0109-0110 longish beep honks, car door slam.
        loud car door slam.
        engine revving.
        car door slam or indistinct noise over my headphones.
0111 ditto.
0112 ditto.
0113 again.
0123 p8c honk.
0125 hollering.
0134 loud door slam.
0136 p8c honk.
0137 loud holler "aywa ya'bu ahmad"
0137 car door slam, car lock tweets.
0138 engine start.
0139 banging of their wooden squeaky shack door.
0140 engine humming, car door slam.
0158 two car door slams, after i get out of my desk.

0200 car lock beep.
b/f or ca. 0210 sonorous car door slam.
0211 loud hollering talking. another car door slam.
...
0228 car door slam.
0232 car door slam.
0235 two car door slams.
...


and if i go talk to them, they'll tell me to leave them alone and go back to
my "home" in a menacing manner.
and if it turns into a shouting match, the neighbors will get - again -
upset with me! not the thugs.
and if i persist, they'll start pushing me and threatening to beat me up.
and if i call the police, they won't take my call or won't show up/respond.
and if i wake the doorman/woman, the thugs will say
look how he wakes up the poor doormen in the middle of the night!

and they've been going at this level and frequency of noise and much more since last evening past 0900 or 1000 PM.

such is the insanity i have to deal with. Theirs. not mine.

... ... Read more

What Ben Carson really says about Muslims

Mr. Carson reportedly said he wouldn't put/trust/want a muslim running his great nation.
What he really seems to be saying, however, is
"[muslims don't count much for my numbers or political fortunes, and if it's popular in my most affluent rich racist constituencies to trash them, then i'll trash 'em. heck, if it'll raise my numbers, damn right i'll trash 'em.]"

Nevermind it could or would offend someone like John Coltrane or Ahmet Ertegun or Mohamed Ali or Malcolm X or Cat Stevens or Karim AbdulJabbar or Mohammad Abdus Salam or Saladin or Sadat or that king of Morocco who was the first foreign leader to officially recognize the independent United States, etc. etc. etc., to say nothing of the original and classical Muslim leaders who oversaw the establishment and radiation of an emperium that inherited both the Roman/Byzantine and Sassanid empires in the Near East that has endured in some form or another for more than a millennium.

There are not a few Muslims (among 1.2 or 1.6 billion, that's at least a few to a few dozen million, or actually any number of people) who believe that both the American values embodied in its constitution and principles of government and political theory and the values of islam and the tradition of its messenger and early leaders are much closer together than the dictatorships and fanaticism that riddle the islamicate world today and are in fact, almost nearly perfectly aligned, save for the muslim catechism (articles of faith).

While I agree that the loudest manifestations of "islam" today are contrary to American values and principles of government, i must also assert that muslim fanatics today are also contrary to the original values of islam itself as preached and practiced by the prophet of islam, by his earliest successors, the scholars who set the cornerstones of jurisprudence upon a system of consensus and those leaders that followed this tradition through a very long, global history.

Also, upon/or by way of reflection, [as the opposite of a counter-example,] Sadat apparently once said "the [coptic orthodox] pope should know that i am a muslim president of a muslim country," in a country that in its 63-year long post-independence republican history would have, to date, only a handful of generals and cabinet ministers who are Christian (this is an impression, not a fact and it is not verified).


### ... Read more

false novel names

دعاء الحيوان
عودة اللوح
ترترة على النيل
الوسادة الزانية
فى بيتنا عرص
عوار وراء الأسوار
الفانلة لا تزال على صدرى
...

###

... Read more

extreme upset, anxiety, stress

- extreme upset, anxiety, stress,
since last thursday, 17.ix.xv, at least three instances of street workers
        who do not know me, pointing at me, hollering about me:
        - 16.ix.xv garage attendants loitering and hollering behind my room,
                mockingly repeat a phrase from my conversation w/ an aunt the previous
                evening.
        - 16.ix.xv, qqn i did not see, but heard frm elevator when it stopped
                at ground flr, talking shit about me to doormen.
        - 17.ix.xv, ppl i've never seen b/f hollering "noura noura, noura must've
                upset him" (noura is the concierge who's also making my life difficult
                at home) at tramway station underneath parents' home.
        - 18.ix, friday, food poisoning,
        - 19.ix, when going to mother, garage attendants loitering at garage
                across the street, one of them points me out when i go out of the
                building and wait for a cab, the other turns to look at me, and
                turns around again.
        - 19.ix, past 1400, garage attendant loitering behind my room, whom i've
                never met, hollers ya magnoon, ya bta' el moxdarat.
nobody else is any help, not the parents, aunt/uncle, the neighbors,
        the doormen, the sister or anyone else i know.
cycles of noise and days-long insomnia persist.
strongly miss and need my former friends for reality-check, help, moral support,
        self-confidence.
extreme opacity is most upsetting, i don't know who those ppl are, what the
        fuck gets them to do this to me, talk about me, spread rumours about me,
        say i'm crazy, watch my movements.
        i don't know whether it's the govmt, just thugs, who someone set them on
        me, or how to end this.
        extreme opacity.
confrontations with them only help to cement the appearance that i am mad and
        or unhinged as no one is willing to believe this is going on, least of
        which the dozens of workers stuck to our homes like flies on trash.

... Read more

latest pearls of wisdom

- We love music because it is repetitive and we find comfort in or are accustomed to cycles of time, like those of the days, months and seasons.

- rodents have frightfully sharp incisor teeth.

- Canada, the Beaver State. Errr, Canada, the bear state (middle aged fat white guys with beer). Err, Canada, the polar bear state (middle aged fat white guys with beer and tiny dicks).

- music is a complex-valued function, just like time is a complex valued function of mass or energy. both are periodic.

- remote consciousness h and c and the piper at the gates of dawn.

- an essential quality of water is that it is hydrophilic.

... Read more

on religion

Remove the moral, ethical and epistemological systems encoded in the letter (primary texts) and spirit (as evidenced in the historical record) of islam and what you are left with is a stifling set of obligations and obstructions, injunctions and ritual that outwardly benefit only the hypocrite and the fanatic, while marginalizing and oppressing the learned and the enlightened - the truly good among the people.

...

... Read more

new new tracks

I added new tracks to my "new tracks" compilation (of music ideas and partially made tracks crapfest) at
https://soundcloud.com/iguemey/sets/new-tracks

### ... Read more

insomnia induced by the thugs

insomnia kept up by the thugs for three days,

i'm on my third day of insomnia, w/ numerous times of actually falling asleep
interrupted by their noise, that occur at times and in patterns that make
them obviously deliberate.

this occurs occurs after i go to bed,
0154-0200 two loud car lock tweets behind my wall sounded.
a tinny/metallic knock or bang heard, unusually near and an unusual sound.
0215 a wooden knock or bang is also sounded.
0219 five car lock beep tweets.

by 0222 told concierge's husband about it.
he had given me his permission to wake him in case they do this again.
he offered this himself.
i turned to him , per his offer, because going to see those thugs myself, their replies, their non-replies, their attitude often escalates my going to see them into a confrontation, where my voice uncontrollably rises, they gang up on me, i eventually get beaten up, and the fascist neighbors get incensed at crazy old me for stirring trouble - ignoring that i am , in fact, unable to sleep!



the noise jrnl for this date so far,

- noise.jrnl,
0053-54 thugs yakking loudly. car engine start.
0055 two beep honks.
0057 squeaking noise.

0125 car door slam. engine revving/humming.
0128/29 engine rev and s8y p8c honk.

this occurs after putting on music after a tv show,
<0151 engine start, engine revving.
0151 humming, idling.
0151 pan honk. another louder/closer pan honk.
a third longer pan honk.

this occurs occurs after i go to bed,
0154-0200 two loud car lock tweets behind my wall sounded.
a tinny/metallic knock or bang heard, unusually near and an unusual sound.
0215 a wooden knock or bang is also sounded.
0219 five car lock beep tweets.

by 0222 told concierge's husband about it.
he had given me his permission to wake him in case they do this again.

past 0414/20/30 while shtting in the toilet, something is knocked over
in the courtyard.

this occurs after returning to bed,
ca. 0500 car door slam
0503 thug sounds car lock beeps, twice, pouring water. car door slam.

0517 car lock beep.

I call the police, the emergency number does not answer, AS USUAL!
my chest is fucked from lack of sleep, inability to open windows - due to the thugs' noise - and constant smoking without the respite of sleep, and not least because of the upset - as I am by now - three days insomniac, and getting woken up by their noise which is all oddly situated right behind my wall - upset!


And there is no friend to offer any moral or actual support or help my self-confidence, or help me confront those fuckers.

Moving would be the fifth time in ten years, and i cannot afford it anyway.

0540 I call the police again - i haven't been able to sleep for three days or more.
But apparently the Egyptian police is too busy shooting tourists from helicopters, and rounding up every person with a brain into jails and torture dungeons.

They're not free or petty to look into the matter of someone deprived of sleep for four years by thugs who beat him up when he complains.


0523 chest gets fucked due to insomnia and upset.
and the loud coughing of course gives the bastard who's keeping me awake
the chance to gloat at me and hear the result of his work directly.
while, with me, years of reading, study and toil, get no reward or feedback whatever.

0539 beep honk and another thug replies with a beep honk from another car.


the noise jrnl entries for yesterday,
much of the noise ignored due to
being in a weird state after two days of insomnia,

- noise.jrnl,
0012 five car lock beeps, in two pairs and a single one.
0013 loud talking.
0013 car door slam.
ca./past 0500 beep honk.
0548 beep honk.
...
0708 beep honk.
0709 beep honk.
past 0700, past 0800 what sounds like hauling and throwing large wood blocks
        or whatever.
past 0900 through 0950 instances of repetitive and s8y honks, loud talk, etc.
1035-1037 older thug hollers loudly and yells loudly.
...
1241 motherfucker honks repeatedly as soon as i hang up with my sister on the phone.
        they're such low lives.

1603 asshole hollering at the top of his voice.
1612-1617 car alarm, hollering, hell.
1614 still with the car alarm, loud hollering and loud yakking by the vermin
        loitering around my apartment and bedroom and desk room.
1615 car alarm still going - three, four minutes now.
        + s8y beep honk.
        it is either a car alarm or someone tapping continually on a p8c horn.
1617 car alarm continuing. stops. the swine hollers.
1619 car lock beep alarm, then car lock tweets, car door slams.
...
2340 repetitive sonorous loud s8y beep honks behind my wall.



and the noise jrnl entries from the day before,
- noise.jrnl,
0120 three s8y pan honks.
0122 beep honks.
car door slam.
0123 another car door slam noises, rattling flimsy window.
for which i cannot find repair at a reasonable affordable price.

0140 two loud longish p8c honks replied to by a beep honk.
0141 pan honk.

0157 car door slams.

0200-?0240 fail just as i was falling asleep finally, six hrs after my slp
        was interrupted,
        at 0220 loud repetitive car lock/alarm beeps sounded behind
        my wall, jolt me from slumber.
        about five to ten minutes later, loud talk/hollering.
0240 after i got up, car alarm. and audible talk.
rather yelling. car engine start.
0243 car engine start.

0304 noise, beep honk.

0631 loud bang.
...
0701 banging plastic drums or buckets after sound of sex comes on my tv.
0724-0735 sleep try fail.
it just so happens (as is the running coincidence over the
past four years, that just after i get to bed, i hear loud talking
in the back alley then car door slams behind my wall!!!!!!!
Third or fourth time they get me out of my bed since yesterday at 2020.

all around sleeping (or trying to sleep) time they hijack my consciousness,
instead of thinking about the things ppl usually think about when they
go to sleep or when they wake up, or instead of focusing on the audio
soundtrack (audio book, music, video, whatever) that i keep on to distract
me from their noise and mask it out a bit,
they overtake my consciousness, turning it into a tense mode that is
increasingly stressed, and then frayed, where i'm just searching the
intermittent silence
for whether faint noises originate from them or not, or whether a sudden
loud noise of a car horn or car door or car alarm or car lock beeps
is the start of a new cluster of noise, or just a one-off after which
i can just relax into falling asleep.
it becomes a tense nervous anxious disturbed state of mind that quickly turns
to infuriaration and anger.
anger that has no outlet that does not harm me!

0742 single s8y beep honk. behind my wall! again.

0743 thug hollers.
0744 thug hollering extra loudly.

i feel the pain in my neck and back of mouth that one gets when welling up
w/ tears.

0754 two beep honks.
0755 loud holler , long beep honk.
...

and about recording their noises, what am i supposed to do?
try to sleep or sit in bed or at the window w/ finger on the record button
of the recorder?!

0813 thugs are hollering. loudly.

0821-0824 as soon as i go back to bed, s8y beep honk behind my wall.
        with no other sound of moving car or anything.

0825
ONCE AGAIN as soon as i go back to bed, another two beep honks.

0831 three beep honks.

0832 p8c honks as i go to bed, and hollering.
0850 thug hollers my name or something that sounds like it loudly and
        repeatedly.
0851 car lock beeps.
0858 car door slam. engine revving.


0920 older thug hollering loudly.
0920 beep honk.

of the ironies, or malice,
0920-0941 after i decide to stay up, after getting out of bed at 0850,
silence. no noises save the honks of passing traffic.

0943 two car door slams.

0950 to bed again,
0950-0955 Once again, after going to bed, repetitive s8y pan honks arise,
and thug hollers extra loudly.
0955 more long plaintive pan honks.
0956 pan honk again after he honked as if revving off.

0957 to bed again.

...
1022 organ s8y honk behind my wall while i have headphones on.
1025 organ honk and repeated car door slams behind my wall.
...
1106 playing with car lock beeps and car alarm. beep honks behind my wall.
...
1131 asshole yakking behind my wall.

1151 s8y beep honk as i move from rm to rm after sitting for the past 1-2 hrs.

1255 repetitive beep honk as soon as i enter my rm. after talking to doorwoman
        chiding her over what she did.
...

past 1500 honks and honk-backs and loud hollering back and forth.
...
1536 p8c honk after i go back to bed.
1543 fucking thug hollering at the top of his shitty voice behind my wall.
1547 fucking thug vermin is hollering at the top of his voice behind my wall.
1551 repetitive pan honks and thug hollers loudly "Aaaaah" more pan honks.
...
1555 beep honk/tap and thugs hollering their trade hollers and a loud
        "ta`ala".
...
1556 thugs hollering at the tops of their voices.
        extra loud hollers.
1557 ditto!

This is all in sharp contrast to when they were shut the fuck up while i was
on the phone!!!

1605 hollering something that sounds like my name again. followed by
        a question, "[indistinct] fein".
when i shut off the audio here - which isn't very loud -
        they totally shut up. a car engine starts.

1629 someone who's not in the building, yells allo after bonne arrives and rings
        my doorbell, and w/ concierge sitting outside at bldg's entrance.
...
1638 thugs hollering and having fun hollering.
traffic noises interspersed with the thugs hollering and braying.
...

1809 openwin to water plants
->
1810 two organ honks.
1821 hollering extra loudly.
1827 loud bang at bkyd.
1842 pan honks, repetitive. traffic honks.
...

1924 thug hollers "ya haithaaaam ... [indistinct]," extra loudly.
        followed by two s8y honks.
1944 two car door slams. s8y organ honk. engine revving. honks again as he
        fucks off.
1945 two more organ honks. i thought he fucked off.
        organ honk right behind my wall. another one farther off.


to bed: 1950-
ca./past 2000 some noise i can't remmbr interrupts falling asleep.
2015 someone rings my apartment's door bell, no one there, but i hear
        someone closing bldg's door, and i hear the doorwoman and husband
        and others standing at or outside that door.
2027 some car noise.
2043 car lock beep, maybe door slam.

past 2110 beep honks as i leave ktchn making insomnia tea.
2115 two car lock beeps behind my wall.
2116 another one. then, a car door slam. also behind my wall.
2121/22 after putting on a tv show, one or two car lock beeps again near
        or behind my wall.
2123/24 car door slam behind or near my wall.
...
2147/48 quarrelling yelling.
2149 p8c honks.
2149 p8c honks replied to w/ a loud/sonorous beep honk, followed by
        three or four more, followed by a holler, followed by another beep honk.
2154 extra loud holler right behind or over my wall. seems almost definitely

        deliberate to carry the sound/holler to me. but it's indistinct.

        maybe some cursing too.

2207 single s8y beep honk behind my wall.

past 2200-2320 several instances of beep honks, honks and honks-back.

2322 someone blowing a mizmar in back alley three times so far.

2333 loud car door slam.

###

These patterns have been going on similar to the above for the past four years!

... Read more

thrice the social exile

After the Egyptian cultural elite ejected me from their social/cultural circles, i was in a manner of speaking, handed over to (i.e. left to deal with only) mainstream Egyptians, who in their utter conservatism, bigotry and darkness, also shunned, ignored and maligned me, then handed me over to the bottom of the basket, the menial - migrants of rural or ("randomness") shanty towns origin - classes where a total and complete darkness of mind reigns supreme . Already, dealing with the mainstream Egyptians most of whom are vain,  conceited, obscurantist, anti-intellectual, stuffy, pompous, pretentious, hypocritical, and tyrannical
is so
 oppressive, suffocating, and utterly harmful
that one has to walk on eggshells and engage in
 silence, mediocrity and hypocrisy just to get by. Dealing with the "unwashed masses" is a whole 'nother ballgame. It is where reason or logic, utility or brightness truly cease to be of any relevance, let alone use, and completely break down and utterly fail.

so, one is thrice made a social exile.

### ... Read more

fuck you

The mother fuckers woke me up from hard to get (because of them!) sleep at 20:20 PM yesterday and 02:20 AM today, as i was finally succeeding in falling asleep six hours after they woke me up. And that's the tamest of their pattern of disruptive noise making for the past four years!

my mouse is busted,
my computer is busted,
my keyboard's busted,
my health's busted,

no one wants to sympathize or help , or talk to me
no friends,
no girlfriend or wife,
no job,
no sleep,
no health,
not even cereal - as the egyptian govmt enforces a monopoly to egyptian brands Temmy's and Nestle's
no car,
no privacy
no quiet
no help

fuck every one who refrains from giving me moral support or who obstructs any support or kindness or help toward me.

there is no doubt in my mind the fuckers have been deliberately interfering with my sleep for the past four years.


... Read more

noise journal 14.ix.xv

noise journal 14.ix.xv

0120 three s8y pan honks.
0122 beep honks.
car door slam.
0123 another car door slam noises, rattling flimsy window.
for which i cannot find repair at a reasonable affordable price.

0140 two loud longish p8c honks replied to by a beep honk.
0141 pan honk.

0157 car door slams.

0200-?0240 trying to sleep fails. just as i was falling asleep finally, six hrs after my slp
        was interrupted, at 0220 loud repetitive car lock/alarm beeps sounded behind
        my wall, jolt me from slumber.
        about five to ten minutes later, loud talk/hollering.
0240 after i got up, car alarm. and audible talk.
rather yelling. car engine start.
0243 car engine start.

teeth clenched, blood shooting up my forehead and temples, too agitated to sleep. too sleepy to work/study.

...

0304 noise, beep honk.

0631 loud bang.
...
0701 banging plastic drums or buckets after sound of sex comes on my tv.

0724-0735 sleep try fail. it just so happens (as is the running coincidence over the
past four years, that just after i get to bed, i hear loud talking
in the back alley then car door slams behind my wall!!!!!!!
Third or fourth time they get me out of my bed since yesterday at 2020.

all around sleeping (or trying to sleep) time they hijack my consciousness,
instead of thinking about the things ppl usually think about when they
go to sleep or when they wake up, or instead of focusing on the audio
soundtrack (audio book, music, video, whatever) that i keep on to distract
me from their noise and mask it out a bit,
they overtake my consciousness, turning it into a tense mode that is
increasingly stressed, and then frayed, where i'm just searching the
intermittent silence
for whether faint noises originate from them or not, or whether a sudden
loud noise of a car horn or car door or car alarm or car lock beeps
is the start of a new cluster of noise, or just a one-off after which
i can just relax into falling asleep.
it becomes a tense nervous anxious disturbed state of mind that quickly turns
to infuriaration and anger.
anger that has no outlet that does not harm me!

0742 single s8y beep honk. behind my wall! again.

0743 thug hollers.
0744 thug hollering extra loudly.

i feel the pain in my neck and back of mouth that one gets when welling up
w/ tears that somehow to make it all the way out.

0754 two beep honks.
0755 loud holler , long beep honk.
...

and about recording their noises, what am i supposed to do?
try to sleep or sit in bed or at the window w/ finger on the record button
of the recorder?!

0813 thugs are hollering. loudly.

0821-0824 as soon as i go back to bed, s8y beep honk behind my wall.
        with no other sound of moving car or anything.

0825
ONCE AGAIN as soon as i go back to bed, another two beep honks.

... Read more

End of the rope

Once again, at the same time, 8:20s PM, the thugs make loud noises with my neighbors' cars, interrupting my sleep, which hours and stability are overturned due to their noisemaking in the middle of the night.
Aside from the insomnia, angina, depression and tantrums they've induced in me, there's the aggravation and infuriation and hostility and negative vibe, leaving me with upset, insomnia and depression for the past four years.

The police, the family will not help. The neighbors will not help. All my friends abandoned me and none want to talk to me.
This is tantamount to killing me a slow death. with no hope of succour or rescue.

To make matters even worse, seeking psychiatric help, the "psychiatrists" in my city all prescribe zanax after two minutes of talking. They are all unanimous: there are no therapists in the city - in the ENTIRE CITY.

Confronting the thugs has resulted in breaking my arm twice.

I cannot go on living indefinitely with constant upset, insomnia, depression and worsening disease.

I am intelligent and multi-talented, I deserve quiet, peace, privacy, a job and friends.
Even fucking Pablo Escobar and Usama Bin Laden had friends.

This is the result of the Egyptian state and police REFUSING to help and the failure of the entire Egyptian society and Egyptian life to redress my grievances and give me sleep!

This is the failure of family, friends, neighbors and the police to intervene effectively on my behalf, or at least
alleviate my crushing isolation and sense of helplessness , or my insomnia and depression.
Of the former friends who have abandoned me to such a slow death - in addition to floating false rumours about me and humiliating me and depriving me of my own social circle, they're all successful professionals and socialites.

I would much rather write about mathematics, history, music, programming, but life in this god forsaken devil's cunt-ry, Egypt, has left me worried and struggling for the absolute basics in life, let alone pursue immersion constancy and continuity in my studies:
- inability to sleep,
- no privacy,
- moving residence FIVE TIMES because of noises by loitering street thugs that neighbors acquiess to,
- worried whether meat i eat is donkey meat or
- the fish is fed on human and agricultural sewage!
- Wondering why no friend will talk to me or meet me (save for one or two) since 2004
- fighting false rumours floated about me by supposed "friends"
- all the goods available are of low shoddy quality and yet is overpriced
- no jobs or job security, and when there is one, it's for peanuts, even though i'm a good programmer,
- not to mention living with terrorism , a brewing civil war and a terrorist insurgency,
- with the only line between citizens and terrorists is a brutal corrupt incapable inept failing mafia that poses as a state. So no basic security either. Indeed thugs broke my arm twice and they still loiter around my apartment some two years later!

No security, no sleep, no friends, no work, no society, no services, no possibility of leaving this shit cunt-ry, nothing!

- let alone no marriage, no children, no girlfriend or possibility of meeting a woman of my social and educational background.

- even applying for graduate school, my alma mater, the American University in Cairo failed to send out my transcripts ruining the admissions process, leaving me demoralized, ruining my life.


... Read more

Egyptians are

Egyptians are so retarded and averse to education that they start the grade school year only in October or very late September, and end it in December! ... Read more

About ello

the site ello .co is a fake social network site setup by the mossad. According to my analysis, most accounts on it are fake and automated. Active users are mossad agents posing as “artists”. ... Read more

the parents

i've always - up to now - refrained from talking specifically about my parents and the shit they do to me, mainly because most of my former friends' parents are dead - and i wanted neither to hurt their feeling on that front, nor invite envy of the fact that my parents are still alive that might actually precipitate their death.

But this just takes the cake and once again cements the fact that their mistreatment of me is one of the biggest obstructions and impediments in my life on all fronts - they have interfered with my well being, people's perceptions of me, people taking licenses in disrespecting me by either putting me on a false pedestal (like smother) and demeaning me (father).

so this snippet from my diary today really is a classic example of their hiding facts, their harmful taciturnness, their failure to stand up for me when required, etc.:

even though i withheld the monthly from the doorwoman for svrl reasons,
all having to do with basic respect, and her continual impertinence
and lies,
she went to my parents and father gave her the monthly, even though at the
start of the month i expressly asked him not to give it to her.

i tell them about it on the phone, they say she went to them and starting yelling

then the honorable father starts cursing my mother,
who then comes to me , and whom i kick out.

then it turns out they're both lying.
and i'm not sure whether she went to them
and according to him, she was yelling and mother told him to pay her
to stop her yelling,
or she whether talked to the father as he passed by the building.

result, my will and retort to her impertinence is completely lost and
nullified, and i cannot even tell the truth from falsity.

as usual people - like the thugs outside my apartment whistling and
yelling and who just this morning made falsetto laughs mocking me
as i was about to leave the building after many days shut in,
- are given the lesson that it is okay to disrespect me and it is okay
to treat me like shit.

... Read more

why i am great and shunned

click the link, motherfucker.


... Read more

Will

Will ANYBODY EVER      fucking call me or hang out with me or hold a fucking conversation with me?

I spent all my life studying at the best schools available and chasing jobs and reading and tabulating so that i end up living my last years then dying (of grief and insomnia) amid fucking gypsies and provincial doormen squatting all around my apartment?!

I need to speak to fucking musicians, programmers, to people of my age, to women of my age.

I want to have a fucking intelligent conversation.

I want to be of ANY fucking use in ANY of the fucking fields i've toiled so much in - for years - alone - without the slightest help from anyone.

I need music production help, programming help, software configuration help, reality checks and life advice!!!

I need some intelligent company other than the fucking doormen and their very large extended family squatting in the courtyard outside my bathroom, listening to me fart in my bathroom and laughing!

I need an intelligent conversation! It is not fair to end up isolated for years without any friends or conversation!

The fucking rich snobs from school and college who've snubbed and isolated me complained i lacked social smarts.

Well, by now, i've lost ALL the social skills I learned in the 80s and 90s and 2000s!

...
Through 20 ~ 30 years i've impressed NO ONE with any redeeming quality about me that would make ANYONE want to call me - particularly after years of isolation?

Are those people insane?!

it's not my fault NOBODY ever looks me up for favors or help !

...

... Read more

nobody

i want to have women friends and hang out with educated women.
i want to jam and to collaborate on shit.
i want to fucking have friends.
i want to fucking have an intelligent conversation with an intelligent person.

i haven't had that since the fucking 90s.

i want to have adult friends of my age and my intellect.

i want to fucking go to nightclubs and to parties.

i want a fucking job a fucking steady job. i want a car and a stable quiet private residence.

i want to sleep when i want.

i want to have a friend or friends.
i want to hang out and talk.

i want goddamned friends i knew from school and college.

and i want to like me and respect me.

i want to have adult friends of my age and my intellect.

... Read more

Proofs humanity is the stupidest species in the world

- Plato’s dialogues

- the Gods-must-be-placated-with-material-goods racket. It lasted thousands of years, and to a lesser extent to this day.

- History repeats itself.

- It took humanity 150 thousand years to come up with the beginnings of writing. It took them a further seven thousand years to come up with computing. Even then, seven decades after building computers, computing and networked computing remain in a wild west sort of situation.

- every human culture wants to rule the world and thinks it is the greatest.

- for all their boasting of powers of observation and moralizing, they are the most destructive force in nature short of a large asteroid impact.

- unlike all other organisms, humans torture each other and others.

- Despite being control freaks, humans are nearly perpetually catching up with a world out of control, often due to their action.

... ... Read more

Arctic oil belongs to Inuit nation

The Inuit people should unite and form a nation-state. It would be one of the largest countries on Earth encompassing most of the Arctic circle and having sole claim to its reserves of oil.

### ... Read more

question

question,
why is there a need for the complexity seen at the nucleus level?
would it be sufficient for the universe if the nucleus was a simple
point charge like the electron?
why all the other hundreds of transient particles emitted and decay
and the weak forces responsible for them and the strong force and
its incredibly complex dynamics?

we know that nature is efficient to a tee (to rephrase w/ a better expression).
so there must a necessary function fulfilled by the subatomic scale
being so complex rather than a simple -ve / +ve charge model of the atom.

could it play some sort of as yet unseen indirect role in the formation
of that one force for which no gauge theory exists yet, the gravitational force?

could it happen to be at the root of other macro level effects

Update: todo - after sleep!...

... Read more

ironies beyond funny

'tis not funny

i've endeavoured all my life to learn and be cultured and civilized.
and yet in the middle of the urban jungle, and having to live with all the urban
shit that comes with it,
i am surrounded by rurals all around my apartment,
with only thin walls separating us.
they are not of my social or intellectual or any other class.
they are upper egyptian gypsie hungar doormen who loiter and squat in the
crtyard all around my kitchen and bathroom on one side,
and a group of criminal thugs hailing from the city's most criminally notorious
shanty town all around the other half of the apt.

my neighbors, the other tenants in the bldg, other middle class educated professional bourgeois,
i never see them, they never help me or talk to me, as if they do not exist.
my actual neighborhood consisists only of those hooligans and thugs and imbecile prejudiced bigoted ignorant rurals

who have blighted my life with bigotry, prejudice, disrespect, class conflict, noise, filth,
the courtyard is full of rats weasels insects due to their filthy lifestyle.

and they are all around my windows, right outside my windows all around my cursed residence.

and ironically, all the people i've loved, all the people i want to associate with,
are impossible to be with, with them despising me, abandoning boycotting and slandering me,
and hating me ..

all that i hate however is so close to me they hear me snore in my bed and fart in the bathroom,
and think i'm insane if i sing or hum in my kitchen. they hear my phone calls, my tantrums,

and being so isolated with only limited interactions with menial handymen, delivery ppl,

the entirety of my meager inteactions with others happen right within their eyesight and earshot,
or hearing.

so i am deprived of privacy, quiet, being w/ peers of my own fucking social and educational and professional class,
and i am surrounded and engulfed in and suffocated with the exact opposite,
the very examples of ignorance and backwardness in the country, sticking on me like flies on shit.

the ironies are terrible, crushing.

the deprivation and the misery equally so.

and there is no way out.

...

... Read more

thugs

THUGS HAVE LOITERED AROUND MY HOME AND TORMENTED ME FOR FOUR YEARS - NOT LEAST OF IT DISRUPTED AND DEPRIVED ME OF SLEEP  FOR FOUR YEARS, BROKE MY WRIST ON TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS, CAUSED ME ANGINA, HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, CHRONIC INSOMNIA, STOLE MY CATS, PREVENTED ME FROM PROPER SLEEP OR STUDY ETC.

POLICE AND NEIGHBORS HAVE REFUSED TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT THEM.

THIS IS SOME OF WHAT THEY DID TO ME OVER FOUR YEARS:

- the thugs over years and repeatedly
they stole my cats - one of them irreplaceable never recovered

the other one was returned only after i announced a 1000 pounds reward. it was skeleton thin and its side was shaved.
And then they made fun of the matter, even though i'd been looking for the cat for days and they were asked about it.

they call out my mother's nickname, sister's, outside my windows

they beat me up  and threatened me
broke my wrist twice
and threatened to break the other one if i don't stay quiet 

eavesdropped almost continually
made up false highly damaging and dangerous rumours about me
got my phone calls content from police phone monitors
made noises near wherever i go in the apt. and timing it so w/ hollers, honks
hoot calls, insults, etc.
these patterns and noise making caused preventing the use of more than
half the apt.
w/ much of the other half's privacy intruded upon by the concierge's very
large extended family (been seeing new "members" and faces of all ages
for the past four years) squatting and taking over all the public spc
of the bldg as their own private residence - w/ the leave of the landlord
who does not provide them w/ living arrangements other than this.
affected my slp cycle to point of insomnia and missing days w/ parents
affected my anger issues and anger management efforts
caused me insomnia, anxiety, stress, angina, worse gut trouble etc.
made fun of my coughing fits
make fun of me when i lose my temper
send street kids around to follow me laugh and make hoot calls at me
etc.
followed me and inquired about me
exchanged gossip and lies about me w/ police informers
and congregated w/ them and made fun of me, slandered and insulted me
right outside my home - repeatedly
holler extra loudly and honk deliberately to annoy me.
etc.
used their knowledge of my short temper to provoke me into confrontation
spread false damaging and dangerous gossip about me in the entire neighborhood
spanning to my parents' home.
increased my stress, paranoia, anxiety and anger issues exacerbating
existing problems of social exclusion and isolation and (issues of)
social professional and personal failures.
interrupted my study and music practice on a piano i continued to pay for
which rent.
one of them, the most imbecilic, once called at me trying to distract
as i was crossing the street amid two-way traffic.
more than once would lurk in front of the bldg's entrance to see
who's coming and going to my apt. he would enter the bldg to see when
maid leaves for instance. possibly after hearing our parting dialogue
and door slam from the side alley, meters from the inside of my apt.
and the apt. door.



###

... Read more

otant

health= (meds: ).
hopefully no otants today.
otants.
again mother fuck.
again i wake then the
... Read more

bad verse and prose dept.: el

Sans ailes, sans elle
de quoi s’élever au dessus
de sa vie de bordel

sans elle, Sans ailes
de quoi éviter l’espoir déçu
à la mort éventuelle.



... Read more

the information field and the social field

In previously posted notes, I made reference to these two concepts as potentially worthy of some interest/study.

The idea is to construct a field theory of information and its exchange as an intrinsic property of nature, as well as a theory of social interactions analogous to field theories that describe the fundamental interactions among particles in the universe.

That is to construct such theories formally with the notion that both "information" (more on it later, hopefully, or maybe what a given object tells us about itself)) and society are not that different from the fields where fundamental forces of nature are mediated among particles by bosons.

... Read more

when

when will anyone be or want to be my friend? when will anyone need me
for anything?
when will anyone want to talk to me or listen to me or care about me o
r hang out with me or need anything from me? When will anyone apprecia
te me or want spend leisure or work time with or work with me or help
me make something for once in my life.
even the maids who clean the house, they don't need me and they make t
his clear, and walk out on me - i have to literally beg them to do my apartment and pay them extra money to do it, upending the employer employee relationship completely. so much do they feel disgusted and annoyed by me , if i don't beg them, i'd be forced to clean after my own and the pet's shit and puke myself.
despised and hated by all who met me. this is not fair to me. not fair
 to my feelings for others like relations or former friends or society in general, or to my intentions - to collaborate on making good beneficial things in business, art and community, in any of a number of different fields.
i've been condemned to live out my days, alone, discarded, despised, ignored, blocked, deserted, rejected, hated, maligned slandered and misunderstood, alive but not really alive. dead but not really dead, from my mid 20s.
excluded from projects and parties and trips and get-togethers, excluded from family reunions - rare as they are - excluded from everything.
none of what i read or studied or learned, none of my thoughts or opinions matter to anyone. despised even by my younger tyrannical sister.
and languishing in poverty and inaction, despied by even the doormen and street loiterers that surround my home with noise and prejudice and contempt.
none of my opinions or knowledge or tastes matter to anyone. my feedback and input are not welcome anywhere.
the world is happy to forget me - to "die" me as i live and yet i cannot
forget the world.
and still want to be a part of the world.
but when?
i've grown old and ill. whatever social skills i've gathered in the 90s and 2000s have all but
faded into uselessness and forgetfulness.

due to incessant noise, recurring depression and frequent illness and now the insomnia and having to move residence so many times due to the noise my study is stalled and always stuck at the introductory phase in anything i wanted
to study.

an entire life spent or wasted on uselessness, loneliness isolation, and the contempt or indifference of others. dead alive. neither dead nor alive.

and yet if ever social opportunity presents itself, i owe it to myself to renounce and reject it. so there is no leaving the isolation, ever.

that's too unfair to me and my intentions and goals.




... Read more

when the fuck

when the fuck will i have a friend let alone a fucking girlfriend. when the fuck will i be invited to a party or a project or a partnership or a job or a hangout or a gettogether or a jam session or a gaming session. when the fuck will i have a job or a car or a quiet home w/ privacy not surrounded by thugs and gypsies on every side. when the fuck will i be respected or appreciated as a friend or colleague. ... Read more

deprived

allmy life i've been deprived of women friends, and of positive women interactions anyway. Never or exceedingly seldom does a woman - particularly a woman of my own categories, country, age , social group - "like" my posts, or like anything i do. i never have positive feedback from women in any thing i think or do, and even worse, there is never any women around to see anything i do say or think. i am deprived of relationships , friendships , positive feedback from women in general, and in particular, from my country, from my same age, and social groups. constantly i see women responding and "liking" posts by former male peers - former male friends of my age. This never happens to me. As a result the validation and confidence a guy gets from the opposite sex - i never get or enjoy. ... And so, when will women ever treat me with the same respect and appreciation they show other guys, or even w/ a fraction of it? ???? When will i have women friends??? Let alone having a girlfriend, a lover or a wife. ### ... Read more

maybe even

One day I'll have a friend, and maybe even friends and buddies. One day my love for a woman will not go unrequited and maybe even reciprocated. One day i'll have a job. and maybe even a car! One day i'll have a residence. and maybe even a stable quiet and private one! One day i'll be respected, and maybe even liked. One day i won't be hated despised misunderstood disbeliefed and maybe even accepted. ... Read more

shit life

life patterns, every time i get up i have to piss, and every time
i go to w.c. since last night, it's a shitter

life patterns, having to shit in front of people,
i wake up at 1400 and have the urge to piss, it's at the same time
the  concierge's large family's women are gathered outside my fucking ktchn
and bldg door rings, with their men returned from their fucking prayer,
and i have to sit meters from them
and this long loud sequence of farts comes.
as usual i have to do my shitting and pissing a coup,le of meters from
those loiterers who occupy the bldg's crtyd instead of getting themselves
a place to live like everyone else,
with the approval of the penny pinching uncivilized coptic landlords.

add to that my stupid smother waking me up from much needed slp
at 0500 and 1000 AM with stupid questions that she'd asked me b/f
and I know it's a shitty day frmo the start.

computer totally fucking unresponsive

not loading shit freezing and crashing.

obstructed every possible way
mother as ever un-forthcoming in her talk, you never know what's her true
state or why she does anything

browsers freezing

restau not responding

maids none of them want to come today

anything i choose to do seizes up and freezes and fails.

all to the background / foreground noise of a fucking street seller
blaring out his thick inhuman accent through a loud megaphone
in the back alley where he parks to bray
and from whom only the thugs who occupy  the back alley buy things.

as none of the residents here buy from him.

and the browser only unfreezes when i leave it.

the food eaten last night , last evening is still not digested and i got diarrhoea again - which i've had on and off since November.

And curse them will none of my family or former friends ever call me again?

they have deprived me of any social connection or any acknowledgement validation or moral support or aid
and condemned me to open ended loneliness and isolation. curse them all.





... Read more

snafu

The Plumber is shit: water and mildew seeping through all walls in all the buildings i've been in. All the plumbing is fucked.
The electrician is shit: any metal surface electrocute and he doesn't know how to ground the circuit. Another one sold me fuses that caused a house fire.
The carpenter is shit: none of the doors, windows cupboards are fixed.
The handyman is shit: no show. Because my job's too small.
Phone line: cut twice with scissors in the past 7 years.
Taxi drivers are shit: have to ask their permission and tell them your destination before getting in the cab - if they deign to stop for me - which is a rarity, having cost me many appointments in the past, before becoming a shut-in , particularly and expressly to avoid them. And then they choose their own route, take other passengers, never use a meter, Their cars stink, chairs broken, doors broken , etc. etc. etc.
The Bread is shit: regular bakery bread is thin as a wafer , can't hold even spread cheese in one piece. Supermarket bread turns into crumbs after a couple of hours because they cheat in the indegrients.
.... ... Read more

fucked

my guts are fucked
my sleep is fucked
my computer is fucked
my whole life is fucked.


... Read more

when

when will someone intelligent who'se not a concierge or a garage thug talk to me or hang out with me or be my friend
when the fuck will i have a friend or be asked to hang out, or invited to a party or to go out for drinks.
when the fuck will be in a group of friends and enjoy company and conversation of intelligent educated women of my age or of any fucking age?

when the fuck will i have a friend?

i haven't had a friend for over eight years. i haven't been to a party since 1996.

i haven't been to a beach since 2004.

i've had no one to talk to since 2006 or 2007, and before that since 1997.

when the fuck will i have a car or a job or go camping or to the beach or have friends or have a girlfriend or a wife?

when the fuck will all my knowledge and erudition be shown to anyone and when will i get any reward for it?

when the fuck will all the books and media i have  can be put on the SAME damned set of bookshelves in one place, not rotting away in boxes?

when the fuck will i have a decent desk or work table?

when the fuck will my cousins or former friends miss me?


... Read more

kisses and conversation

The last I've had a conversation with a moderately intelligent educated middle class woman was in 2006. Since then, i haven't sat down or had a conversation with such, i.e., for some nine years! The last time i've kissed or been kissed by a moderately intelligent educated middle class woman was in 1997. Since then, no such relationship, intimacy or mutual affection, i.e., for some eighteen years! ### ... Read more

and how

and even if all of a sudden i'm provided with a friend. let alone a group of friends, a scene, a community. who and what will make up for decades of loneliness, and isolation? and who the fuck is the asshole who looks up this blog's main page every time i put a new post ? ... Read more

outsider

i feel angry / anger at being without friends, not liked by anyone. but also at being never in or behind a project or business or anything good that reaches people. i've always been an outsider. among cousins, among schoolmates, at college, at whatever work. i'm always the late comer, the outsider. and now i'm an outcast. always alone. despised or forgotten. slandered , maligned and misread, without ever a chance to hear my slander or defend myself against it. ... Read more

the Sundering

For all my belief in the importance of openness and communication, I've been dealt only the deafening silence of social contempt and rejection (even before my verbal tantrums did the rest of that work), even at a time of social and geopolitical upheavals when i needed them most. I was left without conversation or dialog - let alone social engagement, camaraderie and solidarity - left to feed on media headlines off the bottom of social existence. With the exception of a repsite in the years 2004-2006, not only have i been deprived of parties and hangouts and get-togethers with friends from 1997 to 2015, I have been deprived of all social function, with a fickle materialistic pretentious pseudo-bourgeois family of aunts and uncles and cousins - who all consider me lame and boring, who have never invited me for anything, and who exclude me from all their get-togethers. Cousins, all younger than me, who believe i envy them for having jobs and wives, so low and presumptuous is their lower middle class thinking. Even going to the family-oriented sports clubs to which i have access became an ordeal with the questioning contemptuous looks i get from staff even before members if i go w/ an unshaved beard, or even if i sit by myself reading a book. Unknown to them, or known as the son of modest parents, i get the contemptuous cold-shoulder treatment from the staff, even the women in work clothes sweeping the steps of the club house stoop. Not to mention the insults i've gotten from taxi drivers and the complete unpredictability of their treatment or whether i can even hail a cab when i want to go somehwere - many a time i totally failed to get where i wanted despite dozens of empty cabs passing. The friends and cousins and all those i know who've confined me to oblivion and deigned not to acknowledge my existence any more have done nothing short but burying me alive. And now , living alone, the custodian staff such as the concierges and their vast extended cohorts of family relations and friends and the garage thugs consider me a retard, a mentally defective person - for living alone, never or seldom going anywhere and with nearly no visitors at all. For years. Since me without a community, they openly showed hostility and derision and contempt to me, such as thugs who deliberately increased their noise-making and verbal abuse after i complained about , depriving me of proper sleep (and therefore study) for three years, and completely derailing my sleep cycle, and even breaking my wrist a couple of times - with complete apathy and inaction from police or neighbors, leaving me suffering from angina, insomnia not to mention a near total destruction of my personality. In addition they falsely told anyone who asked that i am crazy, a faggot, a coward - when police asked them if i went to demonstrations, and so on - all within earshot of me right outside the walls of my rooms. all the social "kn,owledge" i acquired through college and university, through friendships, marriage, travel and work, all gone , gone for good and gone for naught. I hold those who participate in my isolation by action or inaction, by false gossip and slander, responsible for ending my social life and the prospects that come with it. I played no small part in this after lashing out at them for years in tantrums that were often uncontrollable and impulsive, resulting even more isolation and demonization of my person. But stuck in isolation since age 25 or 26 , that's tough. Even b/f the torrent of social rejections with which i was met in 2004-2006, none of them visited me or stayed in touch. Even though many of them enjoyed friendships and get togethers and visits in the same city where i was living. ### ... Read more

they isolated and exiled me

the mother fuckers exiled me from society, from my own society of friends, former colleagues, acquaintances, outside of whom i knew none, all while laughing at me, deriding and despising me and humiliating me and disparaging me in front of women, at a time when i most desperately needed and wanted a relationship and to regain my friendships with women. Something which at the time would make my spine bristle - as it was long before other demotions and humiliations completely shredded my dignity and sense of self and self-respect. it was before street thugs loitered around my own home for three years , feet away from me, insulting me and telling anyone that would ask the most awful lies about me , and insulted me with loud hollers and beat me and broke me in front of the entire street when i complained than yelled at them for their incessant noisemaking - which they only increased and intensified. so long before that total destruction of the self and person that my parents and i spent my whole life building, those mother fuckers - former friends and colleagues from the American University in Cairo - and those from College St-Marc - they started with destroying and disparaging my character and preventing me from being in any social company of theirs. Those were Hassan Khan, Sherif Azma, Omar Kamel, and many others. And the ones that despised me openly to my face and treated me with levity and contempt even in front of their wives, and those that would cut any contact with me and refuse to acknowledge or reply to me after seeing them, lke Mica Sabit, Ihab Sakkout - and those who wouldn't even deign to see me or send me a hello like Adam Awny or Sherif Assar. All of whom are sociable opinion leaders in their social groups, and whose rejection of me meant the rejection of the whole group. Women never took an interest in me but of the most fleeting kind. But when all those males openly rejected my society and / or insulted and slandered me like with hassan khan and mohamed mansour, it was only natural that every woman i'd met at auc would have nothing to do with me. ironically it was only those not living here that would talk to me like patricia or or kuwaiti dina. and so began a ten year journey of isolation and exile - during which i lashed out at them verbally through social media - often fueled by maddening chest pains and coughing crises , thoughts of my open-ended hopeless isolation - continuing from that in my diaspora . And that was followed by the deliberate hatred and abuse of the street thugs who destroyed what would be left of my person , my self-respect and self-confidence. The same derision, avoidance and dismissal, besides outright contempt and yelling and dressing down i got from my younger sister - who always refuse to acknowledge i'm an OLDER brother and who later always denies that she did any wrong, vehemently refuses to apologize and accuses me of "carrying" those grievances , and my cousin who was my childhood friend - and who after having cut contact with me - chats with my tyrannical sister , while forbidding me from talking to his sister. ### ... Read more

socially deprived

so sick at being interminably deprived of society, association and friendship; deprived of having intelligent educated cultured women as friends, of having no friends or buddies or girlfriends or any kind of society or association. women despise me and hate my guts. the only ppl i see are the concierge and her extended family and cohort of endless relatives and visitors who loiter in the bldg's entrance and the in courtyard; the food delivery ppl - presumptuous and often rude or imbecilic ; the thugs who loiter day and night outside my home and who've turned me into the butt of their jokes, derision and verbal and noise and sometimes physical abuse - without an iota of sympathy or help from neighbors or the police. when will i have friends or friendship? when will ever anyone - particularly women -look at me with a modicum of respect. i've been buried alive without society since the mid to late 90s. despite being technically ok, i've been deprived of jobs, advancement in jobs and a career, deprived of friendship and intelligent conversation, hanging out, parties, trips, etc. i reject this life - i'm sick of it. i wish i had died many many years ago. ... Read more

Tech karma - an overlooked aspect of engineering

a tech system or device's responsiveness, state & quality depend not only on its design but also on the tech karma of the user. in particular, a user having misgivings about a given piece of tech, platform or product while almost certainly run into "bugs" and will have a difficult experience with it, then someone who is enthusiastic about it, and has gone through the hoops and is generally a good user, like having RTFM. So basically, some people are just tech imbeciles, and their bad tech karma causes gear they use to act up. ### ... Read more

thugs

as i'm coughing my brains out, the thugs around my home in the street are calling me a faggot. ... Read more

10.iii.xv, posted a nu track

Playing around with Ableton Live packs.
Bass riff used briefly in the intro is from a P-Funk song, title forgotten now.
Drum loop by Bomblastic, Live pack clip, Acoustified 2 w/ edits.
Guitar pads by Vinyl Classics, using pack clips:
- Sounds of the 70s, 95-Freeway Driftin' FD-Guitar Pad clips 1 and 2, pitch-shifted for chord changes
- and 115-Herbs with Albert, HWA-Rusty Guitar clips 1 and 2.

### ... Read more

The joys of conversation

Of the only two people available for me to talk to, one is a livid minefield of bad temper and negativity and the other is deaf.

###

... Read more

Another music doodle

Creative Commons license (BY-SA). Free to download.
Velocity dispersion is a statistical quantity that measures the statistical dispersion of radial velocities of stars in a cluster about the mean radial velocity in that cluster.

The descending arpeggio phrase is taken after one of Rebeca Mauleon-Santana's "Latin pianist" software tracks.

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Two new music tracks

Just published two music tracks at soundcloud.com/iguemey

Creative Commons license (BY-SA). Free to download.





This track was resumed after the last time i worked on it on 30.v.x (30.May.2010) but it remains a work in progress.

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