i've endeavoured all my life to learn and be cultured and civilized.
and yet in the middle of the urban jungle, and having to live with all the urban
shit that comes with it,
i am surrounded by rurals all around my apartment,
with only thin walls separating us.
they are not of my social or intellectual or any other class.
they are upper egyptian gypsie hungar doormen who loiter and squat in the
crtyard all around my kitchen and bathroom on one side,
and a group of criminal thugs hailing from the city's most criminally notorious
shanty town all around the other half of the apt.
my neighbors, the other tenants in the bldg, other middle class educated professional bourgeois,
i never see them, they never help me or talk to me, as if they do not exist.
my actual neighborhood consisists only of those hooligans and thugs and imbecile prejudiced bigoted ignorant rurals
who have blighted my life with bigotry, prejudice, disrespect, class conflict, noise, filth,
the courtyard is full of rats weasels insects due to their filthy lifestyle.
and they are all around my windows, right outside my windows all around my cursed residence.
and ironically, all the people i've loved, all the people i want to associate with,
are impossible to be with, with them despising me, abandoning boycotting and slandering me,
and hating me ..
all that i hate however is so close to me they hear me snore in my bed and fart in the bathroom,
and think i'm insane if i sing or hum in my kitchen. they hear my phone calls, my tantrums,
and being so isolated with only limited interactions with menial handymen, delivery ppl,
the entirety of my meager inteactions with others happen right within their eyesight and earshot,
or hearing.
so i am deprived of privacy, quiet, being w/ peers of my own fucking social and educational and professional class,
and i am surrounded and engulfed in and suffocated with the exact opposite,
the very examples of ignorance and backwardness in the country, sticking on me like flies on shit.
the ironies are terrible, crushing.
the deprivation and the misery equally so.
and there is no way out.
No comments:
Post a Comment