outsider

i feel angry / anger at being without friends, not liked by anyone. but also at being never in or behind a project or business or anything good that reaches people. i've always been an outsider. among cousins, among schoolmates, at college, at whatever work. i'm always the late comer, the outsider. and now i'm an outcast. always alone. despised or forgotten. slandered , maligned and misread, without ever a chance to hear my slander or defend myself against it.