they isolated and exiled me

the mother fuckers exiled me from society, from my own society of friends, former colleagues, acquaintances, outside of whom i knew none, all while laughing at me, deriding and despising me and humiliating me and disparaging me in front of women, at a time when i most desperately needed and wanted a relationship and to regain my friendships with women. Something which at the time would make my spine bristle - as it was long before other demotions and humiliations completely shredded my dignity and sense of self and self-respect. it was before street thugs loitered around my own home for three years , feet away from me, insulting me and telling anyone that would ask the most awful lies about me , and insulted me with loud hollers and beat me and broke me in front of the entire street when i complained than yelled at them for their incessant noisemaking - which they only increased and intensified. so long before that total destruction of the self and person that my parents and i spent my whole life building, those mother fuckers - former friends and colleagues from the American University in Cairo - and those from College St-Marc - they started with destroying and disparaging my character and preventing me from being in any social company of theirs. Those were Hassan Khan, Sherif Azma, Omar Kamel, and many others. And the ones that despised me openly to my face and treated me with levity and contempt even in front of their wives, and those that would cut any contact with me and refuse to acknowledge or reply to me after seeing them, lke Mica Sabit, Ihab Sakkout - and those who wouldn't even deign to see me or send me a hello like Adam Awny or Sherif Assar. All of whom are sociable opinion leaders in their social groups, and whose rejection of me meant the rejection of the whole group. Women never took an interest in me but of the most fleeting kind. But when all those males openly rejected my society and / or insulted and slandered me like with hassan khan and mohamed mansour, it was only natural that every woman i'd met at auc would have nothing to do with me. ironically it was only those not living here that would talk to me like patricia or or kuwaiti dina. and so began a ten year journey of isolation and exile - during which i lashed out at them verbally through social media - often fueled by maddening chest pains and coughing crises , thoughts of my open-ended hopeless isolation - continuing from that in my diaspora . And that was followed by the deliberate hatred and abuse of the street thugs who destroyed what would be left of my person , my self-respect and self-confidence. The same derision, avoidance and dismissal, besides outright contempt and yelling and dressing down i got from my younger sister - who always refuse to acknowledge i'm an OLDER brother and who later always denies that she did any wrong, vehemently refuses to apologize and accuses me of "carrying" those grievances , and my cousin who was my childhood friend - and who after having cut contact with me - chats with my tyrannical sister , while forbidding me from talking to his sister. ###