29 May 2015

shit life

life patterns, every time i get up i have to piss, and every time
i go to w.c. since last night, it's a shitter

life patterns, having to shit in front of people,
i wake up at 1400 and have the urge to piss, it's at the same time
the  concierge's large family's women are gathered outside my fucking ktchn
and bldg door rings, with their men returned from their fucking prayer,
and i have to sit meters from them
and this long loud sequence of farts comes.
as usual i have to do my shitting and pissing a coup,le of meters from
those loiterers who occupy the bldg's crtyd instead of getting themselves
a place to live like everyone else,
with the approval of the penny pinching uncivilized coptic landlords.

add to that my stupid smother waking me up from much needed slp
at 0500 and 1000 AM with stupid questions that she'd asked me b/f
and I know it's a shitty day frmo the start.

computer totally fucking unresponsive

not loading shit freezing and crashing.

obstructed every possible way
mother as ever un-forthcoming in her talk, you never know what's her true
state or why she does anything

browsers freezing

restau not responding

maids none of them want to come today

anything i choose to do seizes up and freezes and fails.

all to the background / foreground noise of a fucking street seller
blaring out his thick inhuman accent through a loud megaphone
in the back alley where he parks to bray
and from whom only the thugs who occupy  the back alley buy things.

as none of the residents here buy from him.

and the browser only unfreezes when i leave it.

the food eaten last night , last evening is still not digested and i got diarrhoea again - which i've had on and off since November.

And curse them will none of my family or former friends ever call me again?

they have deprived me of any social connection or any acknowledgement validation or moral support or aid
and condemned me to open ended loneliness and isolation. curse them all.





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